T&J Upcyling
Re-designing expression.

Panic Attacks

Panic Attacks

Panic.

Overwhelmed by emotions of fear and confusion,

you pranced at me like a tiger at its prey. 

 

You scare me.

Choking me and taking my breath away.

 

What a way to make me feel alive again, 

is this a sick way of showing me adrenaline?

 

Falling to the ground, seeking comfort of something hard and cold,

I lie there as the floor beneath me wraps around me, 

suffocating me into this space of immobility. 

 

I felt you all day long. Knowing that it would be any time now that I would be screaming, crying and pleading to leave me alone. 

 

Panic.

My good friend. Thank you for your comfort, you're so very familiar to me. You're probably the only consistent thing in my life that never seems to leave.  The only thing that shows me what true love may be.

 

My dear friend, since the age of six we have created a relationship stronger then any other. 

Its hard for me to break it to you however, 

 

I'm breaking up with you. 

Though you and I have had a good run, 

you've kept me safe and alive,

 

I need to finally say good-bye. 

I no longer need this rush of feeling I'm still alive.

 

I am now in a safe space, I am able to trust.

My walls you've helped me build, I've been hammering down, 

breaking through the thick walls of sexual abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse,

and my childhood traumas. 

 

Thank you for your lessons, they will never be forgotten,

I do, however, believe that it is time to drop this weapon. 

I take forth your knowledge, wisdom and strength... 

 

Holding myself confidently, safely, willingly and strongly

never allowing you to consume me again in such way....

 

Good-bye dear friend. 

By: Ty Kranz

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