Consume the inner being of who I am.
Set me free.
Allow me to be.
You seduce my mind through the description on the bottle.
“Take one pill every 8 hours as needed for pain.
Side effects: May cause drowsiness, dizziness, do not drive while on this medication.”
would race as I even read the name of the drug on the bottle.
I never thought anything would EVER be able to control me.
Until I met you.
Day after day.
Pill after pill.
It no longer became just one at a time.
Four pills in my mouth.
I am finally numb.
Tolerating Four pills, they don’t do anything to me anymore.
I begin to seek something stronger.
The scary thing about you is,
nobody knew you and I had a secret romance.
Nobody knew my undying love for you.
how much I hated the core of your existence for being so bad for me,
but making me feel SO good.
You don’t seem to understand how badly I craved the chemical rush flow through my blood,
making every nerve in my body, numb.
You screwed me in the ass.
Telling me you were there for me whenever I needed you.
To take one of you whenever I am in pain.
I have seizures.
House full of men,
ALL who are ALCOHOLICS.
Full of homophobes.
Full of ill practiced Catholics praising God in all the wrong ways.
Pain was tattooed to my mere existence.
To my every day life.
You should’ve been a little more specific.
I took you every day, since the age of 15.
Seeking a stronger way every time I became immune,
to continue this numb feeling, just to simply be at home with everyone.
Not allowing anyone to affect me or hurt me.
You gave me the courage to live in my house day to day.
I sit here now,
nearly 4 years sober.
…….Still confused if I should hate you for fucking me over.
thank you, for numbing me and helping me get through with an invisible cover.
By: Ty Kranz